NAIROBI BOUND:THE CHRONICLE BEGINS

A Matatu termini

 1 sack of bananas(check),2kg of omena(check),6kg of maize flour(check).The long awaited journey was finally here and as i scanned through my shopping list,I could not help but wonder why mum had to make me carry all these foodstuffs to Nairobi.She continuosly stressed that food was expensive and that i had to go and start cooking right away immediately i settled in campus.As far as she was concerned,the helb loan was more than enought for me and she even went ahead to suggest that I should pay for my younger sister school fees.

  I tactfully escaped this weired suggestion by lying that we had to commute to class daily(sorry mum for lying to you)and that I also had my personal expenses.She bought this idea but not after stressing that I was not to get any pocket money reason being that I might be”scared” by the money(c’mon mum its not like you were going to give me fifty thousandas my pocket money)and end up indulging in drinking.

  Come the D-day mum sat me down and gave me a long and uncormfotable lecture about university ladies and urged me not to engage in any mindless behaviour.She kept on lamenting about sex and I was tempted to escape from her lecture since sh described the female anatomy in a peculiar way.I would rather have this talk with any male species but surely not her(besides I have learnt about HIV/AIDS since class four when I was so naive and was not even sexually active).My mum being a commanding freak she had her way and I sat through the grilling session cum lecture for what seemed like eternity.
  So dear Mama here is my promise to you:
    1.I shall not befriend any female species and as you said,I would run for dear life and avoid them like a plague.
    2.I shall not engange in binge(Yokozuna)drinking,chain smoking or anything that might interfere with the normal functioning of my Medula oblangata or might affect my normal normal vision.
   3.I shall always attend church and never shall i miss any activity in the church.I shall also join the church choir and be an active member.
   4.I shall watch my spending and spend a maximum of Kshs.30 a day or as you put it,an extravagant sum of Kshs.50 should be maximum
  5.I shall never call to inform you that I am broke because as you put it,you dont want any stress because you are frail and old age doesnt make it better.
   6.I shall conduct myself like a true christian and set an example to my peers.